you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
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