so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
