I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
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