At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
