help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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