Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
