Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
