I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Terrible idea I love it
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
