Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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