How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
