i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
