it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize