it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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