We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I need water and some morals
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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