I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
