i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
