What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize