she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize