Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
