y did u give ur computer a hand job?
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
