Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
