Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
