i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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