Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
