This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
