Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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