good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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