This girl is more easily done than said...
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
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