I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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