we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
