Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
