I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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