doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
