i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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