Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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