i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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