and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
