I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize