And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
