At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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