My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
