when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
