I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Randomize