At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
