Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
