I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
