You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
