For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
The air taste purple.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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