What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
