im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
