Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
