Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
