to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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