you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
