Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
The uberlube is also flammable
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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