He kissed a someone with a penis
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
