Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
