i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
