Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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