I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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