Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
