You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
