I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you win again, gameday.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
